For RLJ

Terrified  Terrified (live) by Didi Benami and Jason Reeves

You, by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You’re the thing that’s right
Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

You set it again, my heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning
in the dark

And I’m in love
And I’m terrified
For the first time
and the last time
In my only life

And this could be good
It’s already better than that
And nothing’s worse
Than knowing you’re holding back
I could be all that you need
If you let me try

You set it again, my heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I’m in love
And I’m terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only

I only said it ’cause I mean it
I only mean ’cause it’s true
So don’t you doubt what I’ve been dreaming
‘Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I’m without you

You set it again,
my heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I’m in love
And I’m terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only life

maybe you should start praying hard again; that my feelings for you will eventually go away… so you can finally get rid of me forever…  if you will rely on me, I never fall in love half baked… im always there for the long haul… i may complain and whine about alot of things.. but at the end of the day, im still that one person that will be there for you… no matter how though things are..   i think me loving you, is just one big hassle for you.. even if you dont say it.. it certainly shows in your actions.. unfortunately we can’t choose the one we will fall in love with… because if thats the case… people will always gravitate towards the easy relationships… I’m not sorry that i fell for you… its probably one of the few right things i did in my life… ive always gravitated to the easy, no brainer, meaningless  relationships… i never had to work for anything.. so maybe when youre through with me i might’ve develop more character, more substance… or im probably dead from a heart attack from u. But I am sorry, that its such a hassle for you… that youre being forced to deal with emotions, you obviously are not used to; but then againn tapping into my real feelings is something i was never good at and spent most of my life running away from… unfortunately life has a weird and twisted way of making us comfront them… It took alot of sleepless nights to actually realize that what I feel for you isn’t just a crush blown out of proportion; or a lust….  It took so much courage (and fear) to admit to myself that I haven’t wanted someone like I want you in so long… that I’ve fallen in love with somebody who probably will never feel the same way about me this lifetime, or the next. C

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2 Comments

Filed under CRAZY RAMBLINGS, personal, Songs

2 responses to “For RLJ

  1. misty

    finally, bex… the admission and revelation :p though it’s painful and bittersweet, it’s also good to be in the situation you’re in right now… because it makes you feel real and alive.

    here’s an excerpt from one of my favorite childhood stories, the velveteen rabbit… nakiki-senti lang rin with you:

    “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

    “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

    “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

    “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

    “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

    “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

    🙂

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